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Friday, August 23, 2013
But now that I've decided who should be Labour Party leader (I'll leave them to squabble over who should be deputy), is it okay to return to my blogging break now?
My endorsement has been given, and that should hopefully bring the contest to an end.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Another guest post from the zombie corpse of Imperator Fish
It appears that my bid to become Labour's leader has hit a snag. I've had some interesting reactions from the hugely expensive push-polling I got David Farrar's company to conduct, where I asked people what they thought about my becoming leader of Labour.
It seems that most people would sooner be consigned to the pits of hell for all eternity, while an unholy army of demented demons tore at their flesh and committed every conceivable manner of indignities upon their persons, than have me lead Labour.
This all tells me that it's just too soon for me. So I am withdrawing from the race, and we'll have to choose someone else as leader (Phil T, you're off the hook).
But it's important that we take our time and listen to all the arguments, before deciding on the best person for the job.
Let's not rush into things. Let us all take a deep breath and consider the options.
There are a number of obvious candidates for the role,
and each of them will have their strengths
and weaknesses. As a party member I will have the opportunity to listen closely to what each candidate has to say, before casting my vote.
It's far too soon to say how I will vote. This is an important decision, and I won't be rushed. Nor will I be pressured or lobbied.
It would be tempting for me as a West Aucklander to pick a local MP, but I'm going to do what's right for the party. The person I vote for may not even be an Aucklander. You never know.
Nor am I inclined to make my voting decision on the basis of age, gender, sexual preference, or ethnicity. My vote is genuinely up in the air at the moment.
It could go any way.
But when I make my decision I hope to be voting for a candidate who is articulate, passionate, smart, and able to match it with John Key.
They must also be able to carry off a beard.
I knew this was coming. That's why I took a short break. The good news, though, is that I have got my team organised and we're ready for the contest. I've got a great group of people around me*, and now it’s time to step up and take the plunge.
Monday, August 19, 2013
Friday, August 16, 2013
Thursday, August 15, 2013
|Labour leader David Shearer|
Police were called into Labour Party leader David Shearer’s Wellington office this morning, after a loaded gun was found on his desk.
David Shearer has confirmed that he called police, after arriving at his office to find the weapon.
“I have no idea who did this,” said Shearer. “Some madman must have broken into our offices last night and left their gun behind.
“I mean, why the hell else would someone leave a loaded revolver on my desk?”
Police would not say if they suspected a robbery, although at this stage nothing has been reported missing.
Update: Labour leader David Shearer has asked police to return the gun left at his offices overnight.
Shearer made the request a few minutes after viewing a recording of John Campbell’s interview of John Key on Wednesday night’s Campbell Live show.
However, police say they cannot release the gun, as it is evidence in an active criminal investigation.
In a short interview with the media this afternoon the Labour leader refused to explain why he wanted the gun.
Shearer also refused to explain why he was wearing neither a tie nor or belt, and why his shoes were without shoelaces.
The Labour leader concluded the interview by rushing towards an open window and leaping out of it. He landed in a flower bed and suffered only minor scratches.
“I can’t go on like this!” Shearer appeared to tell reporters as his advisers carried him back to his office. “This has to end! Make it stop! Make the pain go away!”
A member of Shearer’s staff later clarified that Shearer had been trying to say that the country could not go on like this under a National government, and that a Labour government would end the pain being suffered by ordinary hard-working Kiwis at the hands of John Key’s callous and incompetent administration.
Labour Party officials have now cancelled a number of Shearer's public engagements, including a clifftop walk, a bridge-opening, and a tour of a knife factory.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Greetings to you, fellow warblers!
I find myself at a disadvantage, so please bear with me while I establish how exactly this computer keyboard works.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Political commentator Matthew "fair and balanced" Hooton may have a scoop on his hands:
If this is true (and why wouldn't it be? When has old Hoots ever misled us?), then why haven't I heard anything about it? I'm Labour and I'm West Auckland, and I know a lot of West Auckland Labour people.
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Friday, August 9, 2013
The actual number could be much greater, given that you lot don’t seem to be very good with things like truth-telling.
Thursday, August 8, 2013
|John Key looking relaxed, hours|
before the crisis
Mr Key said he had been hard at work on his calculator yesterday when the unit failed completely.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
I won't bore you with too much detail about my reasons for not posting, because I can tell that you bore easily. I blame Facebook, Twitter and all those reality TV shows for your short attention span. When I think of all the time you people spend in such idle pursuits I feel ill, and I usually end up throwing up. And now I am covered in my own puke. Thank you very much!
Friday, August 2, 2013
These claims have surfaced on a number of blogs and social media sites this morning, and they are being repeated widely in the news media.
It is not the usual policy of this government to comment on the calendar. However, the allegations put forward are of such a grave nature that we saw no alternative but to address them directly.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
I thought I’d write, as the internet coverage where I am is rubbish, and the guys I’m with are a bit funny about letting me have access to email. Someone I met here said he could get a message out by donkey, so hopefully this comes your way soon. I hope you like the postcard I chose. This Osama guy's some sort of legend in these parts, kind of like an Arab Richie McCaw.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
|The old posters didn't need much of a tweak|
Monday, July 29, 2013
It's time to spare a thought for all the victims from this ongoing GCSB saga.
The latest accusation is that our security agencies have been intercepting the communications of investigative journalist Jon Stephenson.